In that awkward state between sleep and clarity, I had this thought that may seem like “Duh!” to many of you, but I haven’t ever really thought about it this way before, that is how cool sex has encapsulated happiness so wonderfully. Whether you believe in God, mother nature or even random chance, it’s all the same that sex is a marvelous gift that leads to happiness, true happiness.
I think many people can understand and accept that there are different levels of happiness, and sex is traditionally seen as a base level, which does not lead to long-lasting happiness, whereas having children is often seen as the ultimate in contentment. This idea is discussed as five levels of pleasure by Rabbi Noach Weinberg [MP3 lecture]. Jon Stewart, on Dave Letterman was talking about his kids and how great it is to have them, his only regret being he waited so long to have them. What I find is often taken for granted, and what I had my revelation about, is the perfect symmetry from one level of happiness to the next, from sex to kids.
Have you ever had sex and afterwards wondered, “what the hell am I doing?” Maybe it was with a person you shouldn’t have been with or for some other reason, regret it. I know I have, but never with my wife. In the context of my marriage, sex is much more than the physical act of coitus (to use the parlance of our times) — although that too is a great feeling and source of happiness — rather, it emotionally binds the marriage tighter. Thus, even before a child is brought into the equation, sex acts as a conduit for happiness on multiple levels. The wonder comes after the fact when, like a slow-release timer of pleasure, your child is born.
I suppose in my brain, although I know where babies come from (the trash, right?) and I know how great sex is, I never before viewed it in unifying terms as a singular and perfected path to happiness. The significance is in my apprehension over whether to have children or not, and viewing it this way makes the prospect no longer daunting or murky, and instead, I’m looking forward to enjoying what nature will bring.
